Wednesday, 8 June 2011

Pimp My Story v1.0

Writers use words to tell their stories.

Simple, yes?

But there are thousands of words and an almost infinite number of ways to arrange those words into sentences.

How do we choose which words to use? And how do we decide their order in a sentence? What about punctuation, grammar, cadence, diction, tone, pace, inflection, ARG!

Welcome to my world...

I'm currently working on a story where, after a stressful few days, one character tries to inspire another.

What would you prefer he say:

a) 'Diamonds are created by immense pressure.'

b) 'Immense pressure is needed to create a diamond.'

c) 'Only through immense pressure can a diamond be created.'

d) 'Diamonds can only be created with immense pressure.'

If you have any alternatives, feel free to add them below.



Merlene said...

Hi Emanuel, you're doing a great job taking over the reins of the writing group and, in regards to the question - I choose B.

Emanuel Cachia said...

Thanks Merlene.

I'm enjoying my appointed role, but look forward to seeing Frank in better health and again holding the reigns.

Sentence B certainly has impact, as it holds 'diamond' back for the absolute last word. This increases the tension and expectation of the word and makes 'diamond' the word you should remembered the most.

I'm enjoying rearranging sentences like these. But am trying to not pull every sentence apart. Otherwise, it takes me weeks to write a simple 500 words story.


Anonymous said...

Stick a lump of coal up your bum and in a couple of days you will be able to pass a diamond.

Emanuel Cachia said...

I guess that would work if you were under a lot of pressure :)

However, I think inserting the lump of coal might be more painful than the resulting diamond is worth...