Friday, 19 August 2011

Which pitch?

If I go back to FBOW too soon, I might work Jenny’s POV to death – as I did Martin’s. I will redraft it (I couldn’t stay away even if I wanted to!); I just need to let it rest so I can see it as a whole and not think every word sucks.

On another front, I’ve spent the last few weeks working on my novel and am quite happy with the direction it’s taking.

‘So, what is this story about?’ I hear you say.

Well, funny you should ask. I’ve come up with the below pitches:

1. A coming of age story following Deimos and his twin sister, Phobos – the only teenagers living in a mining outpost on the moon.

2. Deimos and his twin sister, Phobos, are tired of their parents arguing, the stereo types forced on them, and being the only teenagers living in a mining outpost on the moon.

3. Deimos and his twin sister, Phobos, struggle with being the only teenagers living in a mining outpost on the moon, having the mission to colonise Mars depend on them, and learning the person they thought their father, isn’t.

4. Earth is overpopulated: its resources almost exhausted – leaving little room for the law-abiding citizens, let alone those in prison. A starship of convicts is leaving to colonise Mars, but will Deimos and his twin sister, Phobos, both be onboard? And, will they be on the same side of the law?

Which do you prefer?

If you can see an area that needs improving, or an angle I haven’t thought of, please share your thoughts. Please keep in mind these are not intended to be blurbs describing the entire plot; but 'pitches'. The idea is to be able to sell the novel to a publisher if I manage to corner one for only a few seconds.

I’d love to hear what you think or have my attempts put to shame :)

Thanks for visiting,
Emanuel

3 comments:

Emanuel Cachia said...

Here are two more to choose from:

5. Deimos and his twin sister, Phobos, are struggling with their parents’ arguing; being the only teenagers living in a mining outpost on the moon; and learning the person they thought their father, isn’t.

6. 2054: Earth is overpopulated. Little natural resources are left for law-abiding citizens, let alone those in the overflowing prison system. A starship of convicts is leaving to colonise Mars, but will Deimos and his twin sister, Phobos, both be onboard? And will they be on the same side of the law?

Emanuel

matthewpjwatts said...

all of them sound interesting in their own way. Perhaps one that incorporates a bit of each?

Emanuel Cachia said...

Thanks for the feedback, Matthew, and the follow :)

I will be looking at these again after I write a few more chapters. Hopefully this will make choosing a little easier.

Decisions, decisions...

Emanuel