tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1364710277141448977.post6774078264645644500..comments2023-10-21T20:14:28.933+11:00Comments on It's all about the writing: The second draftAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03257941507705089684noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1364710277141448977.post-61657314586701481882011-08-13T20:59:22.513+10:002011-08-13T20:59:22.513+10:00Thanks for the sagely advice.
So, you're sayi...Thanks for the sagely advice.<br /><br />So, you're saying that I should stop worrying about the voice and concentraig on writing more stories? <br /><br />I'm sure you've said this to me a number of times Craig - ye who has over 120,000 words done for his novel. Get back to shaping that masterpiece of yours. And come up with a title so I can post it on my blog :)<br /><br />EmanuelAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03257941507705089684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1364710277141448977.post-83882131570754247762011-08-12T22:10:09.664+10:002011-08-12T22:10:09.664+10:00You don't learn voice, it's cultivated ove...You don't learn voice, it's cultivated over time. Stop prevaricating about the bush - the hard yards get you where you want to go.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1364710277141448977.post-43500799887949543802011-08-12T16:34:28.233+10:002011-08-12T16:34:28.233+10:00Thanks for the suggestions Milo.
Hoping to draft...Thanks for the suggestions Milo. <br /><br />Hoping to draft it again in a couple of days, if the characters from my novel let me!<br /><br />EmanuelAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03257941507705089684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1364710277141448977.post-43868034812921568552011-08-12T09:42:49.781+10:002011-08-12T09:42:49.781+10:00I agree with you: both on the piece's strong p...I agree with you: both on the piece's strong points and weak point -- the voice. Maybe "show" him regaining consciousness with action: opening his eyes. Also "show" him objecting with the gurgles up front.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1364710277141448977.post-7587547667402478372011-08-11T08:04:57.828+10:002011-08-11T08:04:57.828+10:00Thanks Mark.
I might let this story rest for anot...Thanks Mark.<br /><br />I might let this story rest for another week or so before looking at it again. The time away should hopeflly allow me to draft it again with unbiased eyes.<br /><br />EmanuelAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03257941507705089684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1364710277141448977.post-34088434370736860852011-08-11T07:22:21.124+10:002011-08-11T07:22:21.124+10:00Sounds cool, keep trucking along:) Also, I love th...Sounds cool, keep trucking along:) Also, I love the fish at the bottom of your blog, very neat:)Markhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01793077012143289985noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1364710277141448977.post-62074704221635014242011-08-07T16:50:56.977+10:002011-08-07T16:50:56.977+10:00Thanks for the feedback Lucia.
At one point I en...Thanks for the feedback Lucia. <br /><br />At one point I ended the story with two fragments, but they made the prose feel clunky. Maybe they were the wrong fragments...<br /><br />I'll have to go back to that draft and play around with the wording.<br /><br />I've also been thinking about writing it in his wife's POV...<br /><br />EmanuelAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03257941507705089684noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1364710277141448977.post-66904938890330662002011-08-07T14:51:20.179+10:002011-08-07T14:51:20.179+10:00Hi Emanuel
I know that feeling of not being happy ...Hi Emanuel<br />I know that feeling of not being happy with the voice. I wonder if you can bring some urgency into the voice by breaking up the longer sentences into shorter, sharper ones. It might have the effect of building the tension ever more. Just a thought.Lucia Nardohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00074123007908521446noreply@blogger.com